Local residents now have to watch their butts because
Police Chief David Dicks is on the lookout
Wouldn't you stake your life that this story comes courtesy of The Onion? Me, too....which is why it's a good thing we didn't actually stake our lives on it. Turns out this is a real, honest-to-god, not-made-up-for-satirical-purposes and apparently unintentionally hilarious story from today's Detroit Free Press.
Police "crack" down on saggy pants? Police chief "David Dicks"? Come on! How can this not be fake?!
An excerpt from this truly ridiculous story:
Words escape me.Dicks, who took over the department last month on an interim basis, announced that his officers would start arresting people wearing saggy pants that expose skivvies, boxer shorts or bare bottoms.
"Some people call it a fad," Dicks told the Free Press this week while patrolling the streets of Flint. "But I believe it's a national nuisance. It is indecent and thus it is indecent exposure, which has been on the books for years."
On June 27, the chief issued a departmental memorandum telling officers: "This immoral self expression goes beyond freedom of expression."
The crime, he says, is disorderly conduct or indecent exposure, both misdemeanors punishable by 93 days to a year in jail and/or fines up to $500.
Dicks, 41, broke down his interpretation of the laws as such: Pants pulled completely below the buttocks with underwear showing is disorderly conduct; saggy pants with skin of the buttocks showing is indecent exposure, and saggy pants, not completely below the buttocks, with underwear exposed results in a warning.
The American Civil Liberties Union is already scrutinizing the enforcement, something Dicks fully expected. But he said he's not backing down until the pants stop falling down.
Still, as of Tuesday, no one had been arrested for saggy pants.
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8 comments:
I wonder if the new chief is related to Richard Dicks. Remember, he was the PAL officer in Flint during the MJII days. Used to call him double dicks...
This is embarrassingly ridiculous, especially for a city that has so many "real" problems. It's interesting that the focus is on men's appearances, while whale's tails and breast exposure are apparently ok.
I'm with you, Janet. Flint is a city plagued by serious and violent crime...yet scarce law enforcement resources are being directed at saggy pants?! It is ridiculous in the literal sense of the word -- utterly laughable.
I wondered about the gender dynamic, too. It is actually somewhat surprising to me that women's appearance is not targeted in the same way, as it is more often women's bodies that are societally/culturally policed. But, when you consider the societal preoccupation with young urban men (of color) as criminal offenders, the focus exclusively on men's appearance begins to make a bit more sense, I think...
P.S. LOL, Patch -- I had completely forgotten about Double Dicks!!
"Whale's Tails"--I'm still cracking up about that one. Maybe they can do something about the "muffin top" while they're at it. That bugs me more than the droopy drawers.
There was a time when I would have been caught in this dragnet of serial delinquency.
Wow, I am out of the loop. Never heard the phrase "Whale' Tails" - But importantly, the Whale's tails and exposed breasts is when this effort simply goes too far! Takes the idea of "slippery slopes" to a whole other level! Way to go Dickie boy! NY Kid - I am still trying to figure if you getting caught in the dragnet would have been a good thing or bad thing for the field of criminology?
Scooby, you may not have known the term, but don't deny that you've been a whale's tails offender at a Prentice-Hall reception or two in your time.
How this chief thinks such an action is going to do anything but generate ridicule and scorn is beyond me. It has gotten a good bit of national media play, but I really doubt it will stand up in court. Even if it is your pet peeve, you're giving the city great evidence that you shouldn't be the permanent chief. Rule #1 of being a chief: don't even give people a systematic reason to tell your officers "shouldn't you be out arresting rapists and drug dealers instead of me" (insert your own "possession of crack" joke here).
Maybe they can launch a prevention program. You know, go into the schools. Hand out belts. Maybe have NY Kid come in and talk about his trail to reformation. I'm pretty sure there's a Bush admin OJJDP grant somewhere in all of this.
Patch: turns out you were right on. David Dicks, the newly-appointed Flint Police Chief, is the son of Richard Dicks, a.k.a. "Double Dicks," a.k.a. the newly-appointed Flint Police "Super Chief". Really.
Sadly, the Dicks' first day on the job was marred by tragedy: David's son (and Richard's grandson), 24-year old Jaquan Dudley, was fatally shot that very same afternoon behind a Flint apartment building. Really.
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