What's hardest for outsiders to fathom is how lethal a cocktail love, hope and sympathy can be. I first fell for my husband the night he confided how he, like Chris Brown, had been traumatized as a young boy by domestic violence in his home...As any IPV researcher can attest, the "Why does she stay?" question often is the most pressing and persistent one asked of battered women. (Accompanying it, of course, is its silent but more sinister corollary: "If she stays, she must like it, or else she's too stupid to leave.") Among other topics, Steiner's brief commentary touches on some of the many reasons -- genuine love for their partners, sympathy for their abusive upbringing, hope that they will change -- why women stay.
Our culture encourages women to nurture men, making it predictable that many experience a seductive empathy for abusive men, as well as the misguided hope that love can obliterate an ugly past. (emphasis mine)
As I said before, I am watching the Chris Brown/Rihanna case very closely, in large part to see what (if any) national dialogue about domestic violence is prompted as a result. Though there have been a few other domestic violence cases involving celebrities over the last few years (e.g., see Mindy McCready, Josh Brolin/Diane Lane, etc.), the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident arguably is the most high-profile, and involves celebrities who are extremely popular with young people in particular. Given this, the opportunity is ripe for a national conversation -- especially among teens and twenty-somethings -- about domestic violence. Whether or not that happens remains to be seen.
P.S. Leslie Morgan Steiner has a forthcoming memoir about her experiences with domestic violence.
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4 comments:
Going back to 1988, the highest profile domestic violence case that I can remember was the Mike Tyson-Robin Givens news items. It will be interesting to see how the current Hollywood superstars domestic case that you mentioned will compare to Tyson's problems of 20+ years ago.
I saw Robin Givens in a play last year (she was fantastic). It is sad how she will always be linked to Tyson and that she publically will always be a victim of violence.
Our local radio station had a 'text-in' if you thought that Brown songs should not be played on the radio for the moment. I am sad to say that I texted 'hell no'. I felt bad as he is still innocent (this was before his public statement).
Oh yea, what do you make of the public apology of Brown. Wouldn't his lawyers suggest he be quiet?
Ah yes. I had forgotten about Mike Tyson & Robin Givens. You're right, Slamdunk -- that was a very high-profile case, too....
Velma: I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess he's taking the Mel Gibson approach: better to atone (in a very general, non-specific statement that does not actually admit culpability) and try to head off the impending PR nightmare as much as possible...
Please have a look at Terror State with System and leave a comment... (to change the world)
thanX
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