Enabling, Lazy Parenting, or Neglect?

Last weekend, I came upon Half Ton Teen on TLC. First aired in January 2009, this documentary covered the story of Billy Robbins--an 850 pound, 18 year old man. His mother readily indicates that she catered to him and brought him anything he wanted to eat, at any time. Doctors estimate he was ingesting 30,000 calories each day. She also made sure he had his own TV and video game system (actually, I think he had two), rubbed his feet, brought him cool washcloths to clean up, and generally enabled his unhealthy lifestyle.

Half Ton Teen and the later episode, Survival of the Half Ton Teen trace Billy's weight loss journey. Because he was too heavy to undergo normal gastric bypass surgery, he needed preliminary surgeries that removed some fat and skin from his body (79 pounds worth) and must follow a regimented diet to allow him to lose enough weight to have the surgery that will allow him to lose weight.

John, another young man in this documentary, is 16 years old and weighs 572 pounds. His mother spends $200 per week on groceries for him alone. In order to slim down enough for the surgery, he had to lose 30 pounds. As indicated in the article cited above, a glimpse inside the daily life of this family is captured in this conversation between the mother and her other children:

Three young children lived in the house with John, his mother and father. In an effort to get John to lose the 30 pounds, the mother was making some announcements to John and the three young kids, presumably his siblings.

One of the things she announced to the younger kids was, "Do not give him soda. Do not give him chips. Do not give him candy."

Now here's the really disturbing part: One of the kids asked, "What will he get?"

Makes you wonder what kind of diet this obese mother was feeding the entire family, if the child, who appeared to be 10 to 12 years old, had no idea what else there was to eat besides soda, chips and candy.

Even in the brief clips of John in his bedroom indicated a serious problem in the household. Jars of candy and other treats rested atop the headboard of his bed. Anyone think he put them there himself? Or that he buys himself $200 of groceries each week?

Here's a trailer/summary of the first episode:

(Warning: this video contains images from surgery that some may find unpleasant.)



These stories were certainly on my mind when I came across this news story today:

"Authorities Arrest Mom for Medical Neglect of 500 Pound Teen"

A South Carolina mother was charged with neglect of her son, and she fled the state to avoid a hearing in family court. They were found in Baltimore, Maryland. Every national report I've seen implies the mother was arrested because of her son's weight. However, the Baltimore News reports:

Marilyn Matheus, a spokeswoman for the South Carolina Department of Social Services, said, "This agency doesn't get involved in such cases based on a child's weight alone, but will take action in cases where health care professionals believe the child is at risk due to the parent's possible neglect in providing medical care."

The local authorities aren't talking, so perhaps she failed to take him to the doctor on a regular basis. It's difficult to believe that would fit the definition of neglect, but there's a good chance that he has developed medical problems (such as diabetes) as a result of his weight.

So, here's my question: when does spoiling a child become child neglect? Are social service agencies overstepping their bounds when investigating these cases? Are these parents truly neglecting their children, or are they relying on a constant diet of fast food and candy because it's the easiest solution (it is, after all, more difficult to cook a healthy meal than hit the drive thru)?

Whatever the answer, it's certainly sad to see young people deal with serious health issues that could have been avoided with a responsible parent.