This post first requires a bit of a confession. Ok, here it goes....I found myself watching "Jersey Shore" the other night. Listen, I am developing a bad case of insomnia and there is not much on TV late at night. Also, being from Delaware County Pennsylvania - it reminds me of my 'hood. So, yes, I admit it - I have watched it twice now.
So, the other night I see what I now know to be "Season 3 - Episode 5" (God help me...why do I know this?). In the episode, which you can see a story about here, "Sam" punches "Ronnie" right in the face. Man, she should be a boxer - nice form, no hesitation, solid shot. This is after she spent the better part of 5 minutes clearly trying to provoke him into a confrontation. The guy (who is the size of a small gorilla) clearly did not want to engage, ignored her, etc only to get cold cocked by him. Frankly, I was shocked. I was shocked this happened, MTV aired it, she was allowed to continue to live in the house, and she has never been arrested although it aired on public television. I must admit, I have done very little systematic research into the area of DV, but I think this sort of thing happens more time than not. I continue to believe, as I believe I have argued on previous posts over the years, that there is substantially more girl-on-guy violence and/or "mutual violence" in dating relationships than popular culture would believe. We all know how this would have (and SHOULD have) gone down if this guy punched her. This would have been used as a "teachable moment" whereby he would have been arrested, MTV would have launched a few "town hall" meetings about dating violence, etc. But for this whole situation to be handled in such a cavalier way (she spent the next 5 minutes tell her mom on the phone how she punched him in the face) is astounding. I am curious about others reactions to this situation? I'm going to go see my girls on "feministing.com" to see if they have any thoughts...why do I doubt it?
Monday, January 31, 2011
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5 comments:
I agree and here's why:
One of the girls from the "Teen Mom" show was brought to court for repeatedly beating her boyfriend on camera; it caused a bit of an uproar a few months back.
However, in an oddly predictable yet astonishing quirk of fate, this same girl has gone on to become a celebrity, appearing on magazine covers and morning news shows.
Something like this would never happen to a guy.
I don't know if I would use the term "double standard," but I agree that the general context of M-F intimate partner violence is different from that of F-M intimate partner violence. That doesn't make one less wrong than the other, but the context dictates the societal reaction, I think: because there is not a long history of women maiming, disfiguring, raping, and killing their husbands the way there is a long history of men doing so to their wives, an isolated instance of a woman hitting her partner does not prompt the same reaction that a man's use of the same behavior arguably would. That is likely an unsatisfactory explanation, but I think it is reality.
It reminds me of the Duke "fuck list." People said, "Imagine if a man had released a document objectifying women like that! People would be outraged -- so why is it OK when a woman does it?!" I think asking "why is it OK when a woman does it?" misses the point, and is not the right question. I don't think there was a general consensus that it was OK when she did it. But, it is beyond dispute that men's bodies are not used in the same way or to the same extent to sell products and goods as women's bodies are. Men's bodies lack the long history of sexualization and objectification that women's bodies have, so once again the context dictates the societal reaction to these isolated, individual incidents.
I can hear your eyes rolling, Scoob, and I want to be clear that I am not suggesting that in either case that the woman's behavior is less problematic than the man's. I am just trying to offer an explanation for why the societal response is so different. Of course, YMMV.
I am impressed with the sensitivity of your hearing....
I do think you overstate the case on this. Really, no history of F-M violence in this country? Really? Not sure you are anyone is able to make such a claim. Now, in terms of general magnitude of problems...clearly you are right. The impact of Male on Female violence in intimate relationships is much more substantial - that clearly cannot get refuted.
I also think you overplay the "long history of oversexualization" thing but that is another story for another day.
Either behavior is really wrong or its not. Based on that argument and justification male-on-male or female-on-female sexual violence really isn't as big of a problem when it occurs because the degree and history of it just isn't as serious and other forms of violence. Quite frankly, the differential assessment of the meaning of exactly the same behavior based on demographic characteristics of who are victims and who are offenders is interesting and disturbing. It reminds me of a recent court case in Massachusetts just this past month. Female teacher who fled with an 8th grade student to West Virginia and had sexual relations with him. Judge gave her probation...arguing that see, women, unlike men, do not enter into these relationships for sexual gratification. No, she really cared for this individual. Huh?
Jersey Shore…8.4 million people watch now on average. I suspect the majority are people who are in critical stages of forming their sense of what it means to be in relationships, how to deal with relationship disagreements, and this is what they see. By the way, www.feministing.com still has not addressed the issue…but they do have a post about when the “actors” demonstrated dislike of transgendered people.
Scooby, I thought that you might be interested in this story on NPR that makes a similar point about female domestic abuse of men:
http://m.npr.org/story/133750467?url=/2011/02/14/133750467/Domestic-Violence-Is-Never-Funny&sc=fb&cc=fp
Very interesting. I can only say I am guity also. In terms of the original post, I was surprised at my own lack of a immediate emotional reaction when I saw it on Jersey Shore. These also ars really good points about the commercials.
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