Story Gives New Meaning to "Self-Reported Crime"

Not sure if this made national headlines yet, but it has been circulating around our area for a few days. A woman recently called 911 to report a drunk driver. Turns out she was reporting herself:

Dispatcher: Clark County 911
Mary Strey: Somebody's really drunk driving down Granton Road...
Dispatcher: ...Which way are they going?
Mary Strey: They are going, um...
Dispatcher: Towards Granton or towards Neillsville?
Mary Strey: Towards Granton
Dispatcher: Okay are you behind them, or...
Mary Strey: No, I am them
Dispatcher: You am them?
Mary Strey: Yes, I am them
Dispatcher: Okay, so you want to call and report that you're driving drunk?
Mary Strey: Yes

You just can't make this stuff up...

My Brilliant Idea

Last night while I was catching up on my e-mail, the Trailing Spouse sat next to me enthralled by a Parole Board marathon on the Biography Channel. Each episode of this true-crime show (which you all know I'm obsessed with) profiles incarcerated offenders in a particular state who are up for parole, with the show's final minutes featuring the big reveal of the parole board's decision. (Will they or won't they? Oh, the suspense!) This program, like several others on its sister channel A&E, is narrated by Bill Kurtis, whose name arguably has become synonymous with crime and justice television journalism. And then inspiration struck:

Somebody needs to invite Bill Kurtis to be the keynote speaker at a criminology/criminal justice annual meeting!

Seriously, wouldn't you attend a keynote address by Bill Kurtis, if only just to hear his smooth, dulcet baritone in person? I know I would!

Patch: What do you think? Can MCJA make this happen? I'm on a couple of ACJS committees -- maybe I'll float this idea around and see what happens.

Tell me this isn't a stroke of brilliance!